What Happens After the Game Ends

Step onto an NFL field, and you’ll see 22 men flying at each other at full speed, giving everything they have to win. It looks like a war zone. But when the clock hits zero, something different happens, though the TV cameras don’t always capture it. Opponents kneel together in prayer. I did it many times during my nine seasons in the NFL. I’ve held hands with men I just tried to knock off their feet, like Russell Wilson. We’d pray for each other’s health and families, for safe travels home, for success. In that moment, you see the truth: Sports are about more than competition.

I’ve been in locker rooms across the country, from Arizona to Chicago to Buffalo to Tampa. One of the most surprising things I learned? A lot of guys on opposing teams are actually close friends. We grew up together. We trained in the same gyms, played at rival schools, were drafted in the same class. Many of us still train together at facilities around the country. You’d never know it from watching us go head-to-head. But when the game ends, the respect is real.

This mutual respect – the foundation of good sportsmanship as well as a strong civic culture – is something our country needs more of. To this end, The Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation & Institute and the Rose Bowl Institute are launching a new inter-league initiative to promote sportsmanship and civility. Athletes, coaches and league representatives are coming together to explore how sports can serve as a model for civil discourse and mutual respect in American life. I believe deeply in this effort, because I’ve lived it.

Sports are a microcosm of life. They teach us how to deal with adversity: how to lose, how to win, how to get injured and come back stronger. They teach us that playing fair matters, and that how you win matters as much as whether you win. The same is true in life. If you win the argument with your spouse but lose the relationship, was it worth it? 

One of the most powerful moments in football isn’t captured on the scoreboard. It’s when players come together off the field. Like when Colorado’s Travis Hunter and Colorado State’s Henry Blackburn, who had delivered a late hit that sent Hunter to the hospital, met afterward, not to argue, but to go bowling. They talked, laughed, and even donated to charity together. They showed us what it means to disagree fiercely on the field, yet extend grace and understanding off of it. That’s the kind of leadership sports can offer to the rest of society.

Of course, sports aren’t perfect. There are players who bend the rules and fans who take things too far. But the solution isn’t to walk away. It’s to lean in and show a better way. That starts with young people. Get kids involved in sports early: football, tennis, golf, whatever it is. Let them compete, let them fail, let them win with humility and lose with dignity. Because once they’re in the game, they’ll see: their opponents are people, too.

If we’re serious about building a more civil, compassionate society, we can start by looking to the field, the court, the rink. Athletes have an opportunity – and I’d argue, a responsibility – to lead by example and show that even in high-stakes competition, respect matters. Brotherhood matters. Sportsmanship matters.

When the clock hits zero, we’re not enemies. We’re all on the same team, trying to model a better world. Let’s take that spirit beyond the stadium and into our everyday lives.

Sam Acho is an author, speaker, ESPN football analyst, nine-season linebacker with the National Football League, and a former vice president of the NFL Players Association.